i recently rediscovered a love of journaling. when i was younger, i used to try and write in diaries, but i would forget about it after a week or so. i have so many half-filled notebooks in my room with only the first few pages written on. ever since i started bullet journaling though, things have been different. i actually completed a whole year’s bullet journal which i am so proud about. i was trying to create a journal to document my summer, but i got so far behind and gave it up when i went to switzerland. i’m a little bummed, because that was an experience i would’ve loved to remember and i saved all the train tickets and stuff for it, but that’s ok. there’s always more adventures out there is what i’m telling myself.

at the beginning of this year, i was suddenly filled with so much gratitude for my life and my existence in my town and on this earth. i told myself i wanted to start living, and pursuing my passions. this blog is a result of that. so is my instagram, and youtube, and etsy. so is my journal. i’m going to fail a lot – i already have. no one has bought my font and i worked really hard on that, so it hurt a little bit, but i’ve moved on now. i have new ideas, and i’m being careful to not let myself get sucked in by the prospect of money.

this year is all about self-realization. i’ve already learned so much about myself and who i want to become in the future, and my journal is a place to reflect that. if i have a bad day, i just write everything out in my journal, and i’ve found that it takes so much energy to complain in writing that when i’m done, i suddenly feel so much more positive and i forget about what was wrong. if i’m feeling unmotivated or lacking creativity, i take out my magazines, stamps, washi tape, and paper and just create a spread or write about my day and decorate the page. my journal is comforting, and it’s whatever i want it to be.

my friend L was the reason for this change in perspective. i used to believe that my journal had to be perfect. i had to come up with a format and stick with it, and i was restricting myself, eventually causing me to lose interest or forget about my journal entries. last year, L showed me her bullet journal. it was different than mine; less daily spreads, and more life and pages filled with colours and magazine cutouts. there was so much character in her journal and i was so inspired by that.

i make my journal pages now using glue instead of tape. i love the way the pages crinkle with the glue, and how fat my journal is getting with all the paint chips and magazine pages i am gluing in. the notebook is both a scrapbook and a journal combined into one, and i love it. i love flipping through the pages, fingering the words a previous me wrote, reading about my struggles, or successes. i write the pages in my journal with my future self in mind, leaving myself notes for those bad days i know i will have. i write what i have learned, what i am grateful for, and who i am currently inspired by.

they say time travel isn’t real, but i believe it is. at least in a personal, psychological sense. in my journal, i can travel to the past. i can read my thoughts and remember a day by looking at a picture i have pasted in. i can get reinspired and remotivated by certain positive triggers. in my journal, i can also travel into the future. i can imagine who i want to be. i can put my life into perspective by letting my fingers slide through all the empty pages waiting to be filled.

my advice for those who want to start journaling but are afraid or hesitant or keep making excuses is to start. this is cliché, but it’s so so true. you need to let go of the idea of perfect, or instagram worthy. i have barely posted any pictures of pages from my personal journal, and that number will go down in the future. some things you don’t want to share with the world. make a journal for yourself. make a journal so you can read it ten years from now and laugh at who you liked, what you were stressed about, and what was important to your old self. my motto for this year is a quote that i lettered and stuck onto the wall above my desk from morgan harper nichols:

this is the season she will make beautiful things, not perfect things but honest things that speak to how she is.

be true to yourself, and make your goals come true. rachel pohl, another person i greatly admire on instagram, gave this advice:

do something worthwhile every day.

journaling is an account of all the worthwhile things i have done. and all the not so worthwhile things. this blog is too. you may have recently read about my rae pants adventure, and about my velvet cropped tank success. life is unpredictable, and through it all, my journal is always constant. the act of journaling keeps me sane. well, thank you for reading this far, and i hope you get something out of my thoughts! 🙂